Sunday, 31 January 2016

Fresh Face February: Make Up and Me

So it's February, (well in a few hours) which for me comes with it's own challenge: a month without make-up. Yes, for some crazy reason I've decided to attempt to go an entire month without make-up, minus any valentine day celebrations with the boyfriend because how can I expect him to love me if I don't look pretty! I joke, but seriously I deserve to be able to get dolled up for valentines, surely!
I'm not 100% sure where the idea of Fresh Face February started and it doesn't seem to be a very big thing on social media yet as far as I can tell. But at some point last year I stumbled upon the idea and noted it down as a potential personal challenge which obviously then evolved into a series of blog post ideas. 12 months later here I am foolishly accepting that challenge.
The whole idea is that in ditching the make up you will start to feel more comfortable in your own skin, and not only accept but start to like your face without all the paint. There's so many girls that are terrified to let those closest to them see them with a bare face, let alone dream of leaving the house with one. For the most part I tend to be one of such girls, and unless I'm in a real f*ck-it mood I prefer to not leave the house without a combination of concealer, bb cream, powder, eye-shadow,  mascara and eyebrow filler... I tend to say I don't wear a lot of make up but listing it out like that makes me realise I've probably been lying to myself for years (and that's what I wear on a minimal day!).
So for all us insecure girls out there I'm taking a stand, saying goodbye to my make up and hopefully hello to a new lease of confidence in my own naked skin.

When I first decided on actually doing this challenge, I didn't really think it would be too big a deal. Sure some days would be harder than others, depending what I had on in my diary, but overall? Pfft, child's play, I thought. In fact I was cheered by the thought of spending 20 minutes extra in bed every morning instead of on dressing my face.  Now the night before my first day of facial nakedness I'm full of anxiety. Terrified of who I might see tomorrow and trying to think over my routes to lectures, outfit and ideas of how I can cheat. Maybe just one coat of mascara and some concealer? That's practically still make-up free, right?
This, right here is the problem. I always thought I wore make-up for me. Yes, it has the effect of making me feel more confident in myself, and I prefer how I look with it, but when did it become a necessity? Surely my eye-liner flicks and true red lips should be no more than an accessory, like a scarf or bag, I shouldn't feel so lost without them. I shouldn't feel any less able to take on the world because I have them. The idea of not being able to leave the house without a specific bag is laughable, and evokes the memory of my old comfort blanket. Man, I use to take that thing everywhere, and if it was ever out of my sight for a moment there'd be tears and tantrums. Now it seems that make-up has become my comfort blanket, or at least some form of powerful mask that shields me from the big scary world out there...  All the awful things that are going on in this world everyday, and I'm prepared to loose sleep over whether I'll allow myself a little eye-shadow or not. Talk about first world problems.
Being a typical counsellor's daughter I'm now wondering what the root of such a reaction could be. Is it my self-esteem? A fear that others may think less of me because of how I look? A need of a mask or protector? Or do I really think I might just not be able to function without it? (Like the days I don't wear my rings always seem to be bad days, coincidence? I think not!). Hopefully that's something I might be able to answer by the end of the month, if not tomorrow. And of course, fingers crossed, my world won't fall apart the day my make up brushes are first all neglected.

What is your relationship with make-up? Would you ever feel up to giving Fresh Faced February a go? Let me know in the comments, or join the discussion on social media! And of course don't forget to check back for more updates.

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